My daughter is...willful. I started saying this when she was about 1yr old and now she is three. She hears me, computes the message, ignores and deliberately defies. I used to relish in the drama of that being all my fault somehow but I surrender to the fact that she is just a born leader and a Gemini too. Good Lord help me. Here's what i've found and it really is helping.
"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazllish
I'm just sayin'.